The Great Eastbourne Penguin Fence Debacle

Ladies and gentlemen, have you seen it? That magnificent metre-high wooden monstrosity snaking its way across our beautiful coastline, courtesy of the Hutt City Council (HCC). Supposedly, it’s there to protect the elusive ‘Little Blue Penguins’—birds so rare in these parts that they may as well be part of local folklore.

But here’s the kicker: nobody asked for this, and most of us weren’t even consulted. Instead, HCC has decided that what Eastbourne really needed wasn’t fixing potholes, sorting out water leaks, or addressing the host of other actual problems… No, what we really needed was a wooden barricade blocking our stunning coastal views. Genius.

At a time when the council’s wallet is emptier than a politician’s promises, they’ve somehow found the funds for this great wall of nonsense. Meanwhile, our roads resemble the surface of the moon, our pipes are bursting like an overstuffed sausage, and we’re all left wondering—who exactly benefits from this eyesore? Because it sure isn’t the locals.

So, unless the penguins are staging a hostile takeover and this is some kind of avian apartheid barrier, we have just one question: HCC, what were you thinking?

Discuss. Debate. Mock. Because if they can build pointless fences, we can at least tear them down with words. 
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